Happy Earth Day

April 22, 2009

ripped from Daily Kos:

From Bill in Portland, Maine:

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

I have never seen…

A bison throw a cigarette butt out a car window

A flock of geese rip the top off a mountain

A seal cause an oil spill

A hippo drive a Hummer off a dealer’s lot

A lemur leave the faucet dripping

A raccoon go out for the evening and leave all the lights in the house on

A bobcat fight legislation to lower smokestack emissions

A songbird sing “Drill Baby, Drill”

A panda dump raw sewage into a river

A pride of lions so dependent on oil that they’re willing to wage war over it

A slug (the real kind, not the George Will kind) claim that our biggest worry is global cooling

A gorilla fail to keep its tires properly inflated

A salmon pollute a stream with mercury

An elephant claim that his God says it’s okay to pillage the world’s natural resources willy-nilly because pachyderms are the “chosen ones”

A lizard mock public transportation

A penguin claim that the melting polar ice caps are no big deal

A crocodile think up new ways to go overboard on plastic packaging for portable electronics

A Yangtze River dolphin do much of anything lately

Today is Earth Day, an event we celebrate every year to remind ourselves that we’re, for the time being, the biggest parasites on the third rock from the sun.  Approximately twenty million trees will be harvested to print an Earth Day message of conservation in newspapers, magazines, pamphlets, catalogues, inserts and handbills—a message I can deliver here in three words: stop wasting stuff.

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